My inner child and me (VI)

Because of my experience on the 8th March and the re-traumatisation, I had little strength to connect with my inner child on the night of the 8th March, and also on the morning of the 9th March. I was quite miserable and disturbed all day on the 9th of March, with frequent intrusive thoughts. On the afternoon of 9th March I again spent 30 minutes on the management of my intrusive thoughts and flashbacks, and tried to "park" these thoughts again from this point onwards until the next day, when the time dedicated to their management is due again.

On the night of 8th March I didn't have any energy, and did nothing more than a quick check-in with my inner child to make sure they were there. But I didn't sleep well, I woke up at 4:00h and didn't sleep again until after 7:00h. During this sleepless time I did another check-in with my inner child. I found my inner child sitting in their corner and crying. We hugged and cried together. I don't know who needed this hug more at this moment, my inner child or my adult self.

On the 9th of March I only managed to get up a little before 13:00h, and I had a difficult and still very disturbed day. In fact, I spent the night at a friend's house.

That day I connected with my inner child already in bed. I found them in their dress, sitting on the floor, but not in their corner. They were playing with some marbles, and when they saw me they put down the marbles and came to hug me and started to cry. I calmed them down by telling them that they are safe, that no one can hurt them, that I will protect them and take care of them, etc., and in the end they calmed down and I suggested that we play with their marbles. They picked them up from the floor, and we played for a while. At the end I left them playing with the marbles. I was very tired and needed to sleep.

I woke up maybe around 3:30 am, but went back to sleep. The next time I woke up it was already 6:45h. This time I found my inner child sitting in their corner crying, and when I sat down next to them they came to hug me and cry. It took me a while to calm them down, but when they were calm they stayed in my arms, and I started to go back to sleep, but my friend and her daughter came in, and I was definitely awake from that moment on, and I soon decided to get up.

Now I wonder if sometimes, when I wake up at night, it is my inner child that needs attention. I don't know. I will try to connect with my inner child next time when I wake up at night. This morning it was like that, and when my inner child was calmer, the sleep came again.