Queer issues

Who is Angélique? And what does she have to do with my gender identity?

Angélique comes to my mind again, and this time in the context of my gender identity since childhood, which is the issue that has been agitating me all week. But, in reality I have almost no memories of Angélique. On 23 December last year I wrote about Angélique:

My gender identity since childhood

For the past few weeks I have been reflecting more on the development of my gender identity since childhood. Seven weeks ago I wrote about my questions regarding the gender identity of my inner child, and a few days later about reconsidering the development of my gender identity since my childhood.

Reevaluating my gender identity since early childhood

Genderqueer participants disclose a poignant theme of not having the language to express their experience of gender until late into adolescence or early adulthood. This experience is also repeatedly described as a feeling of something being 'wrong.'

Liam P. Malone: Gender identity and childhood experiences: an introductory quantitative study of the relationship between gender identity and adverse childhood experiences

My inner child and their gender identity

It is becoming increasingly clear to me that there is an issue (or trauma?) regarding the gender identity or expression of my inner child. Five days ago I wrote:

8M and care (or lack thereof)

I took part in some activities for 8th March in Sevilla with friends and our collective Disidencias del Sur and our banner "We too are feminism: trans, queers, nonbinaries". I started with lunch in the Alameda de Hércules. There was a good atmosphere when I arrived, with music and people dancing.

THEY WANT YOU DEAD!

They want you dead
In their shitty world
Where it only matters to produce and consume
Where your emotions and illusions they have no space for
They want you dead

They want you dead
Because you don't produce, because you don't consume
Because you do care about your emotions
Because you want to tend to your trauma, to the wounds you carry from their shit
They want you dead

On being nonbinary in a civil disobedience action

Anarquismo queer

A week ago I took part in a civil disobedience action for climate justice in Lisbon. It was not my first civil disobedience action, nor will it be my last. However, in this action I realised that for me it is no longer the same.

I have been arrested several times in various countries during my activist life. My first arrest was in 1986 in Germany, in an action against a nuclear waste processing factory. The last one was probably a few years ago in England or Belgium. So, I know more or less well the process of an arrest in various countries. Although it is true that it is not pleasant, I have learned to manage the fear that always accompanies these situations. Or, so I thought, until last Saturday.

On the arromantic (and asexual) spectrum

It is always good to put words to things. What can't be named, doesn't exist. And I have had a hard time positioning myself on the arromantic spectrum, between demiromantic and arromantic. This means that I rarely feel a romantic attraction to another person - no matter their gender, nor do I have any desire to establish a relationship. And I don't lack anything.

Queerphobia

In the debate triggered by the PSOE's trans- and queerphobic discussion document, queer people are being made invisible, and part of the trans movement and the PSOE are joining in queerphobia.

The Trauma of Masculinity

While I'm slowly reading Pete Walker's book, Complex PTSD: From Surving to Thriving: A Guide and Map to Recovery from Childhood Trauma, I have another book to "relax", as Pete Walker's book moves me a lot sometimes, and I have to stop.

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