I can't take it anymore!

I can't take it anymore! I can't take it anymore without seeing my friends! I can't take it anymore without hugging my friends! I'm crying. Out of sadness. Out of pain. I can't take it anymore! I'm at my limit, or rather, I've already passed my limit. I can't take it anymore!

I have thoughts of suicide, stronger than ever. They scare me. In the bathroom I thought of breaking the wine glass to cut my veins. I didn't (obviously). Last night I thought of cutting my veins with a shackle. I can't take it anymore!

I'm thinking of making a list of people to contact in case I would do it (and this list is not going to include my shitty family), although I don't think I would do it (neither the list nor killing myself).

I feel like going out on the street and throwing a rock at the police station on the Alameda. I feel like throwing down all these signs and banners of "stay home" or " #todosaldrabien". Shit! Nothing's gonna be okay! I can't take it anymore!

I'm afraid, not of the Coronavirus, but of myself. I need to get out of this, see and embrace my friends. Fuck the Coronavirus. Fuck a State of Alert decree that completely ignores mental health. I can't take it anymore! I need to get out of this shit.

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